I've been doing some serious spring cleaning which involves selling almost everything I have on Craigslist. One of the things I listed was my leather motorcycle racing suit that I've rarely used. I get an email response from a friend of a friend, who doesn't realize it's me so I decide to have a little fun with him.

Craigslist Buyer:
interested - still have it? when are you available meet up?

Me:
I still have the leathers. I should be around Wednesday evening starting at around 6pm. That's my only night free this week, but I'll be around most of the weekend.

The leathers are in great shape, the only reason I'm selling them for so cheap is I sharted in them once. Most of it didn't make it through my boxers, and you probably wouldn't be able to tell unless you rubbed your nose in just the right spot.

Let me know if you'd like to come by for a look.

Craigslist Buyer:
hahah - i gotta ask - are you being serious about the shart.... how bad is it??? did you clean it at all??

Me:
Yes, it's unfortunate and embarrassing, but I believe in full disclosure when selling something. I wiped the area down and really it wasn't bad at all. The leather is black there so you definitely can't see anything. I don't know if I can actually smell it or if it's just mental at this point, ya know? I had one of my cats check it out and he didn't seem to notice anything weird so it's probably all in my head.

Craigslist Buyer:
OK - well obv wed is out... Whats your schedule like this weekend?

Me:
I've got good news and bad news. Good news is I'll take $50 for it. Bad news is my other cat must have a better sense of smell than the cat I used as the shart detector. She must've smelled something since she started scratching around and then started to take a leak on it. I caught her pretty quick and wiped it up, but at this point you might as well take it to a professional leather cleaner. I think the drop in price should easily cover it, and it's not like you need the whole thing cleaned just the seat of the pants (inside and out).

Ps. I'm Gabe's friend, and I've been messing with you. The suit sold early in the week but I couldn't help it! I saw your bike on facebook a while back, I've got a black R6 too. Keep the rubber side down, as they say.

I know, I'm mean.