It's been said before that as you get old you regress back to your newborn self as you lose your independence and need people to care for you more and more. I think this is definitely true. I've lived in Austin for 7 years now, and my dad just now decided that he could take time out of his busy half-retired-working-three-days-a-week schedule to visit me for the weekend. He was here for 3.7 days, and yes, I calculated the .7 because I needed to figure out how long I should have had my dad visit, which was precisely 17 minutes. He's great, he's just old. He looks sort of like Greenspan but with white whispy hair, which is basically how all old white guys look to me. For those that don't already know, my dad is white, I'm yellow, and the reason is "it's complicated."

Things about my dad, some that I already knew and many that I just learned:

- My dad does that annoying thing where he tries to follow you too closely. You know what I'm talking about - everyone knows that one guy that tries to walk behind you and a little to the side, but he always follows too close. So the moment you stop, say for a car, he runs into you. It doesn't matter how cool you're walking past the cute girl on the sidewalk when you've got your dad nipping at your heels like an untrained puppy.

- I was a smart ass as a kid and it used to piss the hell out of my dad. I'm still a smart ass, except I think he's slowed down to the point he doesn't realize what a smart ass I'm being. On the plus side now I can mouth off and not get grounded.

- My dad tells really uninteresting stories and likes to pause while he tries to remember irrelevant details. Was it 1961? 1962? I wanted to tell him that since I wasn't alive yet, in the grand scheme of his 5 minute story on rat snakes it didn't matter exactly what year he met his army buddy Chuck. Unless maybe Chuck was eaten by a rat snake, but even so it would suffice to say "before you were born." And you know what else is great? I think I have his knack for telling uninteresting stories.

- When you're all chinkified like me (aka Chinese for those of you that aren't chinkified), and your dad is all wonder bread white, people look at you a little funny. Or maybe you're just more self conscious about hanging out with your dad. For some reason girls with hot fangs at shoe stores, girls with sharp features serving you barbeque, and cute girls with formerly bad complexions serving you texmex smile at you more. I haven't figured this one out yet. Maybe it's just all in my head as I'm half a year from 30 and everyone I know that doesn't write for Flattire.org is already married. wtf?

- My dad doesn't watch TV so much as stare at it. He zones out a lot, just like I....what was I talking about? Anyways my dad seems oblivious to everything around him except women my age which is a little disturbing. There were more than a few "Man! Did you see the boobs on that girl!" comments. And of course I did see the boobs on that girl, and had thought that they were fantastically oversized in a way that would be great fun now but seriously disappointing after a few more years of their futile battle with gravity. But that would be ok, because I'm not shallow like that and besides her ass was smoking. My dad then confirmed my ass assessment with his wide eyed, mouth slightly agape stare. Smooth dad, smooth. No wonder I'm so good with the ladies.

I made a shake last night with not so sweet watermelon frozen blueberries yogurt and honey. it looked like something Grimace would puke up if we lived in a world where you only puked up things the color of your skin RACIST VOMIT

i just read a bunch of Raymi posts and now i'm writing like her did you know she's the most famous person ever to link flattire.org raymi ROCKS!

I had a dream filled sleep last night which hopefully is a sign of me getting more REM. I had this awesome dream, the only problem of course being I didn't write it down immediately and now I can't remember any of the details. It had something to do with four people who didn't know each other all having the same dreams, and then one day meeting each other and realizing they already knew each other but just not in the conscious world. It was great, I swear.

So...

You know how you're laying in bed and you don't want to wake up, but sometimes you have to pee really bad? And you're trying to ignore it, but you don't want to ignore it too much? Well there I was in bed reflecting on my dreams still half asleep with a bladder about to burst. I was drifting back into unconsciousness when I heard lazyJ's girlfriend say my name. And not in the American Pie "Say my name, bitch!" kind of way, but just like a soft attention getting kind of way. I was confused being half asleep, but was pretty sure lazyJ had stayed at her place last night. But then I heard it again, a little louder and more urgent sounding. So I popped out of bed, looked out the bedroom door, and seeing no one I went to the bathroom and got ready for work.

This leaves two possibilities:
a) my bladder speaks in the same voice as lazyJ's girlfriend
b) lazyJ's girlfriend is my fairy godmother of bed wetting prevention.

Feel free to draw your own conclusions.

A couple of weeks ago lazyJ wrote a pretty cool post about his new tatoo honoring his late grandfather. If you missed it, make sure you check it out.

The comments were so positive that it made Tom and I stop and think. What had we done to honor our family members that have passed? Lacking originality, we naturally thought that tattoos were the answer. But man, I think our grandfather's names were way more embarassing.

Man, I love writing a blog with my friends.

Being famous bloggers, we often get sent free stuff. Wait, is that true? Let me think. One time our friends gave us 100 flattire.org pens. If you want one let us know and we'll send you one, but hurry because we only have about 97 left. Hmmm...maybe that doesn't count. Well maybe this does: A few weeks ago as part of 7-up's new marketing campaign, they sent all big name bloggers official Diet 7-up taste test kits. Ok I lied, I requested it, but still it was free. I was impressed that a company would actually mail us 3 cans of soda, two of which they had to buy from their competitors.

On a crazy Sunday night right before watching Daniel Craig's ears in Casino Royale we gathered around for the official Flattire diet lemon-lime soda taste test world event extravaganza.

So what were the results of our official taste testing? We unanimously picked.....Sprite Zero!! There were two votes for Diet 7-up as second place. The general thought was that it had too much of a chemical taste, which is strange since this is their new "natural" formula.

Thanks 7-up for the free soda!

And....since Casino Royale was a little lacking in the "tons of hot chicks" department, here's a picture of Monica Belluci's gazoongas.

The End.

Does anyone notice that 95% of the time we pick the category "announcement" even though the post has nothing to do with announcements? We're not so good at this category thing. Maybe it's because our categories don't make any sense. I mean shit, we have a category called "lazyJ's ass" which unfortunately is not empty.

Anyways, quick post. I was reading Kevin Smith's blog about him trying to take his daughter to an aquarium on a 100 degree day.

"Big mistake, as the line to get in is not only longer than my dick, but longer than my dick if you measured it every day since I was born and added those figures together for a sum total of inches/feet."

That's just pure poetry.

I saw this a while back and thought it was cool. It's this Adam Frank lamp called Reveal that projects an image of a window with a moving tree outside of it.

I'd be all over it if it didn't cost $400. Fancy stuff is expensive.

While I was looking through their site I saw this really cool art installation they've done. Cool, and kind of freaky. You're used to seeing shadows of people, but what if you saw a shadow of a person, but no person? And what if that shadow tried to follow you? It's hard to explain, so be sure to check out the video.