So we had layoffs the other day, but I was spared on account of how proficient I am at being awesome. They did fire one of my favorite coworkers however, one which I've written about before here and here. Recently I was reviewing a document she had written which read exactly like one of those instruction manuals with the awful Chinese to English translation. There were words I recognized, however she had found new and interesting ways to combine them with reckless disregarding thing grammer plurals and orders worded.

As far as the "bling bling" part of the title, I got $150 bucks from work for my failed patent submission. Failure has never rewarded me financially quite like this - I'm going to have to go hire a collection agency 'cause apparently that asshole Failure hasn't been paying up.