My boss asked me to go to this meeting last week to back him up in case there were technical questions he couldn't answer. I didn't expect him to have all the answers since he's my new boss, but I think he expected me to have all the answers. The meeting was mind numbingly boring so I decided to take notes for all of you to see. Here's two and a half hours of my life you should be glad you didn't have to live.

12:55pm - showed up on time, sweet I rule.
1:05pm - just me, my boss, and this genius Japanese guy no one can understand are in the room. Where is everyone?
1:15pm - my boss tells me he read his calendar wrong because the meeting actually starts at 1:30
1:20pm - my wireless connection should work here but isn't. This meeting could be painful.
1:35pm - people are showing up. Bunch of guys who do stuff I don't understand
1:40pm - meeting starts with an overview.
1:45pm - japanese dude says stuff no one understands. This other dude keeps questioning him and is getting increasingly frustrated. He looks to me for help. I'll assume it's because I've worked on this project for a while, and not because I'm asian and must be able to decrypt poor english with a japanese accent.
2:00pm - One guy leaves for another meeting, I think about leaving for a meeting in my bed at home with my pillow.
2:10pm - Sweet, now we're talking about stuff I really know nothing about. I'll pretend to look busy by blogging this whole thing.
2:15pm - Ok, I'm caught up to real time now and there's nothing left to type. Boredom hits again.
2:20pm - They're showing some diagram with green horizontal bars on it with dates. It's a list of deadlines that will ultimately cause me great misery, but if I cross my eyes it looks a lot like Frogger. Watch out for the alligators!
2:25pm - The guy leading the meeting is kind of a douche. Cocky engineers totally suck. Someone asked him a question and he answered with all this attitude. This man has no soul. If he did, I'd punch his soul in the nads for being such an ass.
2:26pm - Good thing no one is sitting behind me watching me type.
2:27pm - Uhoh, I think I'm supposed to be paying attention now
2:30pm - The guy on my right looks really red. the weird thing is every time I check, he changes shades. I wonder what's going on over there.
2:31pm -The guy on my left looks like a hispanic version of an old boss. I used to know this girl that looked like a white female version of Snoop Dogg. (Is it one G or two?) It was a weird look.
2:35pm - The skinny guy just put his arms behind his head, revealing abnormally large biceps. It's exaggerated by his super skinny head. He's one of those people with a normal profile, but then he turns to face you and you're all like "wtf! where's the other half of your face!" Also his body fat is so low that every time he chews his gum I get disturbed by his rippling jaw muscles.
2:45pm - I hope this meeting ends at 3pm.
2:50pm - Work got me the laptop I'm typing this on. Zoning out in meetings is now easier than ever!
3:00pm - for the love of god, please stop talking people. On a side not, my laptop has been on 2 hours and it's still showing 64% battery left. 5-6 hours battery life on a standard battery is pretty badass. Granted all I'm doing is typing this, but still.
3:02pm - Ugh, the guy leading the meeting just said "with the time left I'd like to discuss..." crap. looks like we're going another half hour.
3:18pm - Almost there, I think. Some dude just told a story with about 5 times the amount of excitement that he should've had. I feel sorry for him and his social awkwardness.
3:22pm - I think my boss just fell asleep
3:23pm - He just woke up.
3:27pm - 3 minutes until I'm done? Maybe wishful thinking
3:29pm - I've been filing my emails in outlook all meeting, and I really miss Gmail's labels.
3:29pm - hahaha not-funny engineering joke has everyone giggling. I totally didn't get it but I better smile to pretend like I understand, and just didn't think it was that funny.
3:31pm - done! hurray!