You're an idiot.

I spent half my day attempting to wedge a grain of knowledge into your clamshell of a brain, but instead of getting a pearl of productivity back from you all I have to show for my patience and effort are a headache, accelerated heart beat, high blood pressure, and a desire to kick kittens. We all know how much I like kittens, so do not take this issue lightly.

Knowing how much trouble you had understanding today's discussions, let me recap what happened in a simpler (but not much simpler) form.

Me: Go to the store and buy some fruit.
You: What kind of fruit?
Me: Citrus. Any kind of citrus.
You: What's citrus?
Me: Oranges, grapefruits, lemons, limes, anything like that.
You: Ok.
Me: Do you understand what I'm saying?
You: Yeah, I should buy citrus.

At this point you leave and head to the store. You then call me once you get there, which isn't too suprising.

You: Should I buy oranges?
Me: What?
You: Should I buy limes?
Me: (a headache smacks me behind my left eye. I put my head between my hands to keep my head from exploding) What did we discuss before you left?
You: (stupid silence) Ummm....
Me: (getting angry, if I was the Hulk my shirt would be ripped to shreds, maybe my pants too. I calm myself momentarily and reply). Remember? Citrus?
You: (more stupid silence) Um...Oh....K.....

We then end our delightful conversation and I await your return. I prepare myself for disappointment knowing that things always suprise me by being worse than I could imagine.

You: Hi! I'm back! I bought a coconut.

Dear Coworker, you're an idiot.