Long time reader and salad tosser ReadyEddie kindly sent us a picture and story of his Halloween escapades last week. It's not the first time he's sent us a picture, so we thank him for his loyalty. However since I just made up a policy to only allow people who's beautiful faces line the top of this page write in the first person, I've taken the liberty of retelling ReadyEddie's story in the second person. Here goes:

This Halloween, you decide to go for a unique yet scary look. Using some latex and fake blood you create an "exposed-skull" and top it off with a sexy dark robe. On your way down to 6th street, you drop by a friend's place and visit a fine lady dressed up as a Naughty Nurse. You are quickly reminded that Naughty Nurse is hot and a cool gal, and take a quick mental photo to add to the spank bank. You also take a real photo, which will not be placed in any sort of financial institution, but instead will be sent to your favorite website.

You head downtown and see the standard throngs of slutty police officers, slutty french maids, and slutty sluts. You head over to Coyote Ugly to go see some chicks dancing on the bar (just like in the movie) and see two cute blondes getting their booty shake on. You mentally name them "More-Drunk-Girl" and "Less-Drunk-Girl" as they kneel down on the bar in front of you.

Less-Drunk-Girl: "So what are you supposed to be?"
More-Drunk-Girl: "Yeah, what are you?"
You: "Kind of like a dead guy."

You pull back your hood to reveal more of your fantastic makeup job. "It's Halloween," you say,"and I wanted to be scary looking."

Less-Drunk-Girl: "Well that's really freaky looking."
More-Drunk-Girl: "Yeah, you're too ugly for me to make out with."

Being of sound mind, you resist the urge to yell out something derogatory and instead honorably watch them dance down to the other end of the bar. You make a a mental note that naughty nurses are way better than drunk girls, and file that mental note right next to that photo you took earlier.